Mistakes

Why do I constantly make mistakes?
Why do I always eventually mess things up?
Why do I cause myself to lose the people I care about?
I know I’m not an idiot
I know I’m not stupid
Or am I?

If I can’t put my feelings second then what
I know I am not perfect
I know I have my faults
But I try so hard
And my overconfidence still gets the better of me

Why can’t I just swallow my pride and be nice, decent, caring
Why can’t I live up to my standard that I’m the nice guy
I know I am capable of it
I know I can do it
So why can’t I?

Perhaps I’m not ready
Perhaps I still have some growing up to do

Compassion instead of coldness
Kindness instead of aggression
Support instead of antagonism
Purity instead of greed

I know what to do
I know how to do it
Do I have the time to do it?
Will it work?
Only the people I’ve hurt can tell me that
Only then will I know if I am the typical asshole
Or if I am a genuine nice guy

I want to be better than I am
I want to help people
I want to be loved again
I want to be happy

No more mistakes.